Tuesday, November 29, 2005

There's a reason why it's a cardinal rule

You know how they say that you should never leave your baby alone for even a second unless they are in their up-to-current-safety-standards crib? For example, it is ill advised to leave ones infant alone on the couch to step into the other room, even if they seem to be tucked securely in the corner and even if it is only for the briefest of moments. And I know this. EVERYBODY knows this. So what did I do yesterday? Yep; I stepped into the other room for the briefest of moments, leaving Sylvie tucked 'securely' into the corner of the couch. No sooner had I stepped into the other room then I here a muffled thump!

So I fly back to the couch and sure enough, Sylvie is now on the floor having rolled off of the couch, onto the cushions I placed on the floor below her just in case (because I KNEW I was doing something stupid by leaving her alone for a brief moment, ya see) and then rolling just a bit more onto the hardwood floor. So she's face down and not making a sound and I'm freaking out and picking her up and rocking her back and forth saying I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm a bad mommy I'm a bad mommy, on the verge of hysterical tears and meanwhile Sylvie, who is unhurt and appears only mildly flummoxed about what had just happened is looking at me like,"what is wrong with you?"

In other, less how-bad-a-mommy-is-Paige anyway? news:

As some of you have witnessed, Theron and I will often amuse ourselves by lightly patting Sylvie's mouth with a finger when she is making a sound, causing a wah-wah-wah sort of noise. Sylvie has caught on to this and will now pat your closed fist against her mouth to the same effect. Sylvie also might have started waving hello, but she isn't consistent about it so I'm not sure if she knows what she's doing and while she is defintiely saying "mama", I'm not sure if she knows what it means yet. I've read that most babies say "dada" first because it's suppoesed to be easier for them but Sylvie is much more likely to spout strings of mamas and babas at this point.

Monday, November 21, 2005


I realized that I've made mention of a few things in past posts that I never followed up on, so here goes:

Funky Helmet- Alas and alack, Sylvie's head shape, while greatly improved, is still a bit pointy on the sides so the specialist recommended that she wear her helmet for another month at least. She has her next assessment 12/5, and hopefully she'll be free of it by Xmas!

Lying Liars-Ha, ha, the insurance company found for US! If that other driver lived on an island, I'd totally go harrass him with Theron's nanny nanny boo boo ship right now.

Return of the Milky Way-Being home with Sylvie and being able to dispense boob juice soley via the old fashioned method seems to have rectified my supply issues. Yay!

Book Purses- I'm finally getting around to making...or should I say, attempting to make some of these purses myself. I spent hours in Michael's yesterday sorting through beads and fabric to find the best matches for the book covers I've scavenged. One of the employees who kept walking by while restocking other areas told me, "You've been there and awfully long time!" and I told her, "Yeah, and I'm not sure if I'm in heaven or hell."

I've got 9 purses currently in the works. What am I going to do with 9 book purses, you ask? Well, let's just wait and see if they turn out first...because they might just end up as a bonfire in the backyard.

In other news:
I've completed my very first commissioned pet portrait! I'm planning to eventually add a price list to my portfolio webpage for commissions and signed prints. I don't know if I'll get much (if any) interest, but it can't hurt to try, right?

Friday, November 18, 2005

The Pegasus and the Unicorn

Here's a photo from this past Tuesday of Sylvie on her very first playdate getting to know her new friend, Sara. Sara has the commando crawl down pat and she can really move around the room...she even inspired the crawling-reluctant Sylvie to make an effort at moving from point A to point B in a manner other than rolling!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Don't you think it's about time you put yourself on the map? (Second call!)

Alright y'all...it's been a week since I added the Frapper map link yet only FOUR of you have been kind enough to add yourselves to it. I know there are more readers than that and I thought at least our relatives would get on board...(ahem, where are yooouuu, Grandmas???)

Come on, show us the love!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Stalking the Wild Cheerio

We've started giving Sylvie a couple of Cheerios with each meal and as a result, I've discovered new and fascinating things about what I thought was merely another breakfast cereal. I never thought I'd say this but they seem to posess some sort of basic animal instinct for survival. Watching Sylvie trying to eat them somewhat reminds me of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom:

Sylvie stalks her prey slowly; she leans forward in her highchair and bats at the rings like a cat with a mouse until finally, her chubby fist pounces! For good measure she whacks her closed fist with the Cheerio trapped inside on the tray, stunning the crunchy oat ring sensless before bringing it to her gaping, toothless maw. Oh, but the Cheerio is a cunning creature, clinging tenaciously to the palm and temporarily thwarting Sylvie's attempt to gum it to death. She'll bite down on her thumb, then look confused--oh wait, that's not it--pull her hand back and open her fist to make sure the Cheerio is still there, then bring it back into her mouth and try to fit her whole fist inside so the Cheerio cannot escape. But the Cheerio remains safely encapsulated inside of her own hand! Oh you wily, sneaky Cheerio! When she does finally achieve her goal the Cheerio still has a trick or two up it's sleeve (or it would if it had sleeves) and will slip out on a stream of drool, seeking refuge on Sylvie's chin. She knows it's there but can't quite see it, even when she tucks her chin into her chest. At last however the o, weakened by the prolonged mauling, succumbs to a swipe of her sticky tongue and disappears into the abyss.

Another discovery on my first day as a SAHM: Who needs Starbucks when you can just add milk and ovaltine to the leftover coffee from the carafe and heat it up in the microwave? Mmm...mocha latte à la Paige.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting...well, almost everybody...or all about my short and inglorious movie career

Did I ever tell you that I was in a Kung-Fu flick? "Sempiternal" was the senior project of an incredibly multi-talented friend of mine back in college, Ilram. (You can see a snippet of it in the Stunts section; it's the first of the Scene thumbnails.)

Of course the snippet is not the scene I was in ya doofuses, waddya think, I have secret martial art skills? I was just an extra, although I DID have the only speaking part, heh. The premise of the film was that there is a mysterious talisman which compels it's previous owner to hunt down and confront, fight-to-the-death style, it's current owner. I rediscovered my VHS copy of it when Theron and I were packing for our move. It was made in '97 and as we watched it I remember thinking that oh-so-original thought, "Man, I look so young!"

I was involved in a couple of other shorts films during my SCAD years: a non-speaking part in a dream sequence where I was wearing a long white nightgown* and standing barefoot in an alley.** In the film I was supposed*** to be juxtaposed with another, similarly dressed blond girl while being approached by the male main character who was having the dream.

I was a main character in the other film, solely because it was based on a short story I'd written my senior year in high school**** and developed into it's film version by my then boyfriend Mark*****. It was meant to be a dark, vaguely post-apocalyptic type of story. I played a crazy lady who, as told in flash-back, was driven crazy by her husband's having killed their young daughter rather than let her fall prey to a "rape & pillage gang." In the end I got to say the line, "Do you believe in happy endings? I believe in happy endings..." before my character walks off camera and shoots herself. Fun!

*perfectly modest, I assure you.

**resulting in a nasty cut from broken glass.

***I say 'supposed' because I never saw the finished piece, but that's how it was explained to me at the time.

****that I can't even remember the name of; I think I blocked it out on purpose.

*****If you ever saw this film (which--pray any-and-all-deities, has long since ceased to exist--you'd realize just how bad an actress I am. I'm talking cringe-inducingly bad. Yikes. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are Oscar winners compared to the the acting travesty that is me.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Don't you think it's about time you put yourself on the map?

Just a quick post...

Check out the '"Where are we?" button on the left of the screen under my contact link and give us a shout out, will ya?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Ah, the wacky whim of Fate

We've been trying to get Sylvie in daycare since we'd both be working and as you may recall, I was bemoaning how I'd have less time with her because of this. Well, call it a sign from above, a divine kick in the pants or just a crazy coincidence...

I got laid off yesterday.

Don't cry for me, Argentina...in fact can I hear an A-MEN?

I called Theron to tell him the news shortly before he was to leave the condo to drop off the papers and first payment with daycare. The daycare situtation was the one sour note in the hosannahs I was singing about getting laid off as circumstances in the past week had caused us to be very "flip-floppy" with the daycare owner which we felt awful about. First we said we were going to enroll Sylvie, then the next day said we might not (when Theron's contract job looked as if it might fall through), then the day after that said we definitely would and finally we had to say we definitely would not. The daycare owner had called us when Theron hadn't come by to drop off the papers and was very gracious when we explained the situation. We're sure that Sylvie would have loved it at that daycare but for now she's all mine! I just hope that we'll be able to find as good a daycare for her if/when we are looking again.I know it's weird that I am happy about this but I am, especially since it happened at what is just about the best time. Theron has a great job lined up for the next 3 months and between that and my severance package, we should be in decent financial shape for the next several months.

So now, I have the time with my daughter I was craving and the opportunity to get astarted with my illustration career. Ain't it NEAT?

This morning I have to go back into my ex-place-of-employ to suss out a few details and gather the rest of my stuff. Then I'll go out with a few of my ex-coworkers for my farewell lunch and then instead of spending most of my day twiddling my thumbs and sighing heavily in my cube at work, I get to go with Theron and Sylvie to the grand opening of IKEA in Stoughton. WooHOO!

Monday, November 07, 2005

That sucking noise is the vaccuum that appeared where my willpower used to be

I WILL not eat anymore halloween candy...I will NOT eat anymore halloween candy...whuh?...you bought FOUR BAGS of REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS because they were only $0.75 each?...oh...huh?...what was I saying a second ago?...uh, never mind....

Fact: Math can lead to Depression

I've always wanted to be a mom. And I've always wanted to have a career. I never thought it would be easy to do either and certainly not both, but my grand scheme/master plan was to become an illustrator, thus combining my love of art with a job I could do from home and allowing me to help support my family while simultaneously raising my kids.

Ha. Or much more appropriately, SOB!

I am not an illustrator by any stretch of the imagination. Yeah, sure I went to an art high school and majored in visual art and followed that up with a 4 years of art college. I even had a solo show that got rave reviews...at least in the little blank book I left at the gallery for comments. (Another Fact: Reading "You're talented at a young age!" and "You'll go far!" comments in said book from solo show that happened about 6 years ago can also lead to depression.) Yet in the end I've failed miserably at being an illustrator, mostly from lack of trying and fear of demonstrating just how mediocre an "artist" I am. So I've done what scores of fellow art school grads have done: gotten a job doing very basic graphic design type work at a soulless corporation.

Today, I decided to play the masochist and create a little math problem like the ones we used to do back in elementary school (because that is about the level of math my brain can handle) to figure out how little time I get to spend with Sylvie because of aforementioned failed plan and soulless job:

If your daughter generally wakes up around 7:45 am and her usual bedtime is 8:30-9 pm, and you leave for work around
8:20 am, returning around 6:20 pm, and you have extrapolated from this information that during the work week you are able spend at most 3 hours and 15 minutes a day with your child, how many hours total do you get to spend with her during a full week?

3.25 hrs x 5 days=16.25 hrs +48.00 hrs (weekends)= 64.25 hrs - 22.00 hrs (rough estimate of time spent sleeping on weekends)=42.25 hrs

So if my calculations are correct (and they probably aren't since as I indicated before I suck at math), I'm getting to spend just over one quarter of the total hours in a week with Sylvie. What's even sadder is that once she's in daycare, I'll most likely see her even less. I know that countless parents have been through this same heartache...so I should probably quit whining. But I felt the need to vent and this is MY blog so, there ya have it.

And yes, I would like some cheese with my whine.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Rant #1: Lies and the Lying Liars who tell them

Don't you just HATE freakin' LIARS? Especially when one hits your parked car while trying to pass another car ON THE RIGHT in a ONE LANE STREET, then acts all pissy when you refuse to take his oh-so-generously proffered $50 for the damage because he "didn't have time" to give you his insurance info? Then, while he finally consents to exchange the info, later tells his insurance company the BALD FACED LIE that you OPENED YOUR CAR DOOR and that's why he hit you? I'm sure that the evidence will bear out our version of the story though since the damage was done to the mirror...otherwise please explain to me how his truck CRACKED OUR MIRROR HOUSING and NEVER TOUCHED THE FREAKIN' DOOR if we had opened it?

If the evidence doesn't bear out our story, would the gentleman* who took a picture with his cell phone of the truck when it appeared the driver might flee the scene please contact us to bear witness because we were dumb enough to wave him on thinking that when Mr. "Im-to-busy-for-this-here's-$50" Jerk had pulled over to come back and discuss the damage with us that he would be honest and forthright about it being ENTIRELY HIS FAULT.**


*Yeah, I know it's like a million-billion-gazillion-to-one that this guy would ever happen upon my blog but I figure it couldn't hurt.

**Oh, and if you happen to be a Dooce reader like me and think I'm ripping off her style by TYPING IN CAPS, get over yourself. Some story recaps just require a little added emphasis is all. I'm sure she would agree.

Funky Helmet, Helmet's got the Funk!

Sylvie is 8 months old today! She's getting so big now; still on the lean side but long. Just this morning she demonstrated a new trick; one-handed clapping! Er, sort of. To explain---often while nursing Sylvie will smack her free open hand against my chest repeatedly. I started to put my hand in between hers and my chest, moving it counter to hers so that we were in effect clapping. When I first began to do this she seemed irritated and would grab at my fingers and pull my hand down as if to get it out of the way of hers. But this morning, she appeared to catch on to what I was doing and stopped nursing to focus on our clapping. Theron was watching and after we'd clapped a few times, she'd look up at him and smile really big as if to say, "See how well I've got mommy trained?"

She goes back to the doctor's office today for an assessment of her noggin. Please keep all relevant body appendages crossed that she will soon be free of her helmet. It really hasn't bothered her much to wear the helmet, but despite swabbings with alcohol and antibacterial stuff and coatings of cornstarch to absorb wetness, it kinda stinks like an old shoe. What can I say, my kid has a sweaty head.

This evening, Theron and I are interviewing a daycare provider who is based back in Watertown. We've heard great things about this place and while it's not overly convenient to our new digs, it's close to the design studio where Theron often does contract work. In fact, he's been offered a full time contract job until the end of January. We keep hoping that it'll become permanent, so keep those relevant appendages crossed for that to happen too.